well i guess you could say i took the summer off from blogging. Sorry i just didn’t feel like writing. Here is the latest.
We have had a really good summer. Stephen has definitely progressed since last year. That doesn’t mean we don’t still have daily, hourly trials. The biggest difference I think is my reaction to the situation. OH..I still get stressed out at moments and have to escape to the bathroom..that’s my sanctuary. It is just that now I usually have a better idea of how to react to his antics. The way to react of course is not to react at all. Don’t nag, don’t remind (very very hard not to do), don’t worry, and never ever take your eyes off of his every move.
The result of this has been a more peaceful day to day life. Like I said though, I am far from perfect. If you happen to see me in the grocery store, I am probably still going to be freaking out..stomping around, ordering my kids to let go of this and that, etc. For some reason I just get more stressed in public. At home, church and other places that know about Stephen’s history, I can get away with our unique form of discipline. Remember it’s not spanking, but it does involve a kind of time out, lots and lots of jumping jacks, etc.
We have only been to therapy three times this summer. The main reason, I cut back due to finances and we had church camp and vacation conflicts. The good news is that we haven’t ‘backslid’ as you might say. There has been only one (wait let me knock on some wood 3 times) really awful incident this summer. Stephen shoplifted two times in one day. It was one of my ‘not so stellar’ mom days. I was yelling from the time I got up until I went to bed about 10pm. I would have been in bed earlier except for a late night trip to Walmart..more on that in a moments. Not sure what was up with me, I will blame peri-menopause and a drop in hormone levels, but I really don’t know for sure. I was just a really bad example to my kids that day because of my screaming.
Here is what happened. We were up and out the door early to get a light changed in the Tahoe at Walmart. While waiting for that to happen, I went shopping for a few items for our upcoming vacation. More on that later too. It seemed every aisle we shopped contained something that Stephen just couldn ‘t live without. I remember in the toothpaste aisle he wanted these disposable rotating mini toothbrushes. I said no. Still he begged until he was blue in the face. I didn’t give in ..but about 9:30 that night as I was doing laundry, I found two packages of the toothbrushes laying on top of Stephen’s jeans. There weren’t hidden. Then in the bathroom trash can I found a candy wrapper. Both items were things he had begged for at the store. As soon as I discovered the merchandise, I went into his room, got him out of bed and back to Walmart we went. It was the same old story. The clerk says”oh don’t do that little boy, it can get you into a lot of trouble”. I dont’ even get embarrased by it anymore but I do get frustrated that they don’t take a harsher stance. I am thankful that he wasn’t arrested, at the same time I would like them to ‘scare’ him. The candy had come from Dollar Tree..we couldn’t go there until the next morning…The clerk was a little bit more stern with him. At the end of the day, I feel like my bad attitude had to have something to do with his actions. At the same time, has to be able to take responsibility for his own actions. He can be upset and mad at me but that is not an excuse to shoplift!!!
The other big news of the summer is money. We’re running out. I just don’t seem to be able to manage our finances as well as I had hoped. I had hoped to stay home until next summer. Landon will go to school in the fall of 2010. But as it stands right now, the savings will run out by the end of 09. So I am trying to find a way to work in the school system. I know Stephen is ready for some independence but I still need to be here afterschool, on bad days, for therapy etc. My best bet I believe is to substitute teach. The question is, will that bring in enough money. I don’t have to bring in a ton, just about $1000 a month. I interviewed for a preschool teacher’s aide job that only paid $13k but it didn’t feel like the right job. It required some special classes and after the school system paid for you to attend the classes they woudn’t be likely to hire you on to another district job. They would have invested too much money. We mutually agreed that wasn’t a good place for me. I want to get experience to move into a higher paying job in the next few years. Substituting seems to be the best bed. I can work when I want to and take off without displacing anyone. Another option, working for my mom at the Yellow Umbrella. It would just be during school hours and would be enough money but the problem is what to do when school is out. I am earnestly praying about the direction God wants for my life. I am even open to moving away for a few years. It would not be my first choice, but if God leads Mark in a ministry direction, I will follow.
For the next three weeks I am keeping 3 girls, my best friend’s daughters and another girl. It helps them out and brings in a little extra cash. This summer Stephen has had two sleepovers. That is a huge deal. Yes most 11 year olds have been spending the night,e tc for several years. For Stephen it just wasn’t possible. Of course we still can’t let him spend the night away from home unless it is someone who understands the risks but having boys over has been just fine.
We did manage to take a vacation. After we decided that I would try to return to work, we decided to splurge on a vacay. We booked a condo in Gulf Shores and invited Mark’s parents to go. It was short but sweet. I got lots of beach time! It was great to get away and for the most part the kids were good. There was usual bickering between the boys but they made friends at the condo and spent lots of time playing in the pool. Mark and I believe we will eventually move to Florida or Alabama so we plan to encourage our kids to go to college there! Yeah..so we are dreaming, oh well.
I won’t promise to write everyday because I won’t. I will try to do a much better job with the blog. I am addicted to FB of course, so I spent most of my writing time on there. Look me up if you aren’t already a friend.
Love, Kim
