Thank goodness for today because yesterday was a real chore. I kept Stephen home from school on Tuesday because he simply wasn’t in a good humor.. Okay let’s be honest, it was Hell at our home that morning. Lots of yelling, huffing, etc. I really really didn’t want to keep Stephen home because it means more work for me just trying to keep him busy and out of trouble. But the whole reason I am staying home is to help Stephen. I am home to help him understand consequences. The consequences of not getting ready for school on time and being disrespectful are that you don’t get to participate in life.
When Stephen stays home from school I keep him busy. I head over to Angie’s house to do a few chores and keep her company for a few hours. Tuesday that included having Stephen do grunt work. He cleaned a shower and two toilets at Angie’s house. He didn’t do it willingly. I used food as a motivator. Shame! Shame! I know better. With RAD kids you are never supposed to use food as a tool. Many RAD kids were deprived of food as an infant so they grow up hoarding and sneaking food. Even though we don’t know if Stephen was deprived of food, he has always hoards and sneaks food in his room. Still, I used food on Tuesday. As I told you, Stephen didn’t get ready for school in time. Thus he didn’t get breakfast. Landon and I had time for breakfast so the way I see it, Stephen made a choice not to get breakfast. As you can imagine, by the time we got to Angie’s house, he was starving. At first he refused to do anything. I asked him to strong sit. He got up and refused. Let’s just say I found another way to motivate him. Finally he realized it was no work, no food. Then the slow and pokey process of scrubbing the shower began. He found many excuses, one after the other, from having a headache, to being too tired, etc. Finally though he got with it and got the job finished. Then he moved on to the toilets. We started at 8:30 and finished at 11:30. One job down, many more to go, or so I thought.
My mistake next is that I didn’t go straight home and put Stephen in his room. Instead I fed him and then decided to try and squeeze in another chore. I volunteered to have Stephen mow my Grandpa Curry’s yard. From the moment we arrived, I was in a rush. Thunder was rumbling overhead and I wanted to get the yard mowed before the downpour. That meant I was trying to rush the kids to eat and get the job done. It just didn’t happen the way I had planned. Stephen refused to help. I decided that I would mow. I really didn’t mind, but I did mind that Stephen was refusing and there was nothing I could do about it. That’s when my frustration went over the top. I stayed frustrated for the next hour or so. All the while my 88 year old Grandma is babbling non=stop about the single yellow rose that she received at church Sunday for being the oldest mother. It’s not that I wasn’t interested in her story, it’s just that she is very hard of hearing and continues to talk even if no one is listening. She kept asking me if I wanted the rose. No grandma, no thank you. NO! No! No! My grandma is very dedicated to the Lord. I love her but sometimes she really gets on my nerves and on this day I didn’t have any left to fray. On top of all that, my grandpa’s mower wasn’t working properly so I never finished the mowing. I gathered the kids and my stuff (SWTR newspapers that my grandparents get and save for me since I cut out our subscription. I now read it a week late just to make sure I didn’t miss any news…you know “newsies” die hard). In a huff I drove home and put Landon down for a nap. Stephen went to his room while I cooled off.
Yes it was a stellar day for me as a mother. Not one of my finer moments to be sure. I asked God for forgiveness before the day was through and prayed for a better tomorrow. It is now 11:10pm on Wednesday and I can say this was a very FINE day. Praise the Lord! Stephen stayed on track all day long. I wasn’t quite as calm and collected as he was, but I did manage to not blow my top.
Stephen had a great day at school again! I asked his teacher is she thought he could go full time for the last two weeks of class. She thought it was better to keep things as they are. Remember just yesterday he missed school for his attitude, two weeks ago he did miss a field trip because of attitude, etc. She believes (and is right) that he would probably ‘blow it’ if he was given the chance to go all day. She likes how things are going right now.
TOmorrow is therapy day. Our appt is a little later than usual so we don’t have to be in such a rush. I am hoping we won’t be fighting severe weather on our way to Little Rock.
At home we are staring a new project, opening the pool. I wish it was just as easy as taking off the cover, but this year we have to replace the liner. That is going to be a big chore. First we need 48 hours with no rain so we can spray a protective coating on the deck. Not sure if we will ever get a dry spell like that.
The big news besides Stephen’s behavior is his recent viewing of the “coming up age’ film at school. He has been full of questions ever since. He is quite willing to discuss all issues openly. Apparently his classmates were amazed at his uninhibited questioning of the school nurse after the movie. Seems they were quite impressed with his boldness. He told me that he finally knows where a woman puts ‘the pad’. All this time he thought that we stuck it to our privates. Now he knows that it sticks to underwear. What a revelation! That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Tonight he asked more questions about puberty. Specifically he wanted to know when he will get taller.
More news from the homefront coming soon. Keep in touch.
Love, KIm
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